Happy

When I started this blog, I was lost. Twenty-seven and laid off and moving back home - didn't sound like or feel like success.

Then I ran into my ex and got to watch him flirt with a 20 year old. I don’t think I was very honest here about how much that sucked. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't that bothered by it, but the reality was, it was torture. I felt like a failure and then watched the man I still loved ignore me and seemingly woo someone else - how could that be any worse? 

But somehow, I got through that and to the place where I am now…. With him at my side and an exciting, meaningful new venture on the horizon.

Is there a moral here? Is it to suck it up through the sucky times because you never know what the future holds? Is it something about second chances? I’m not sure.

But, I do know that my need for an anonymous journal is over. I think it’s time to close this and archive it. I’m ready to start a blog with my name on it and tell of my adventures more openly. I’m sad to end this blog - I hate endings, but I think it’s time.

I can’t thank you enough for reading, for being there for me, for asking nosy questions and caring. Thank you even for the tough love stuff that forced me to be more honest about what was really going on in my heart and head.

I am happy. I hope you find happiness too.

To close us out I've uploaded one last piano piece - see the video below.

 (For those who can't see the embeded video: click here!)

Promise

W is amazing. Normally I would hold back from gushing about my boyfriend, but I feel like you guys, having come along on part of this ride with me, will be interested.

We were at our cabin, which was lovely - a simple place with all the basics and a wood fireplace. We had the beach pretty much to ourselves every day. We would go for walks, get cold, and then return to the cabin to warm up by the fire. We talked about everything. He told me he saw a photo of me in the society section of the paper just before he went to Bath, from that party I went to with Elizabeth in her great dress. He said he actually choked on his coffee when he saw the photo (he’s not used to seeing me in slinky dresses). Then he pulled a folded up copy of the newspaper clipping from his wallet. Apparently a sexy dress is what it takes to get your spurned lover to give you a second chance; if only I had known that a few years ago.

We walked to the store one day to get some supplies and the store owner was talking to a friend about his internet connection troubles and how the company can’t send anyone out until next week. W offered to take a look and see if he can fix it. It was funny - the store owner was clearly skeptical, but we all went next door into the guy’s house where W spent twenty minutes fiddling with things and got it working again. The guy was so surprised and happy. He tried to waive our grocery bill but W told him to surprise someone in need and waive their bill instead. W thought nothing of this action - when I pointed out what a doubly nice thing he had just done, he was quiet for a minute and said “I have a good life and it costs me nothing to share it when I can. The world needs every bit of kindness it can get, doesn't it?”

I’m old enough to do without rose-coloured glasses, so I know W isn't perfect. He’s rather quick to take offense when people are critical, for example. But every day I love him more and it’s different than the love I had at 19 - that was just passion, this is more complete, more about him as a person rather than him as a physical person.

Normally I’m not one for trusting emotional responses, but with W - I knew when I was 19 that being with him was the right thing to do, even if I threw a wrench in that process. And I know now, without hesitation, that being with him is the right thing to do. Married or not, it doesn't matter right now. We’re together and we stood on that deserted beach in Lyme and promised each other that we wouldn't let anything split us up again.

While I was initially angry about the eight years we lost, now I’m just grateful to have a second chance, to have W at my side, knowing that he’s there for good.

Lacy2

When you read this I'll probably strolling on a beach in Lyme with W.  I hope you're doing something equally pleasant!

W and I made a day trip home last week and visited Lacy while were were there. She wanted to share a few words with you and made me promise to post this - click to see a bigger version.