This is Charles' dog, Bandit. Which is a terrible name for this lovebug of a dog.
She was mostly indifferent to me (I don't feed her from the table) but now that I am associated with fun times in the woods, I'm moving up in the ranks.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Walker
This is Charles' dog, Bandit. Which is a terrible name for this lovebug of a dog.
She was mostly indifferent to me (I don't feed her from the table) but now that I am associated with fun times in the woods, I'm moving up in the ranks.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Good People
The Musgroves are good people. Their house is always lively and warm and welcoming. I quite enjoy their company and appreciate that they do their best to make me feel like family. Or, to be more accurate, make me feel appreciated and valued in a way my own family does not.
Dad always complains, despite no one asking, that The Musgroves are not ‘refined’ enough for his tastes. But their wealth and standing in society were ‘sufficient’ to allow Mary to marry the eldest son. The Musgroves, in contrast, just want their kids to be happy and support whatever choices they make in life. I think that Mary married up. Mary takes a view closer to Dad's. She often has impolite things to say about some of the Musgroves' extended family or guests. It is hard to meet Mary's standards.
It was funny when I first got here. Everyone was happy to see me, and it was very nice. But not much was asked about the fact that we had just rented the house and were all relocating to Bath. No one had any curiosity about it, or any apparent appreciation for the fact that renting out one’s family home might be emotionally trying. It’s not any reflection of the Musgroves, I don’t think - it’s how people are. Something might be a big deal in your own immediate circle of family and friends, and it is of little or no concern to those outside it.
It is a good reminder - that whatever Dad might think of the importance of our “standing in society”, people really take very little notice of what goes on outside their own circle of people. For now, I will wrap myself up in Musgrove happenings, do my best to forget Elliot drama, and be happy.
Dad always complains, despite no one asking, that The Musgroves are not ‘refined’ enough for his tastes. But their wealth and standing in society were ‘sufficient’ to allow Mary to marry the eldest son. The Musgroves, in contrast, just want their kids to be happy and support whatever choices they make in life. I think that Mary married up. Mary takes a view closer to Dad's. She often has impolite things to say about some of the Musgroves' extended family or guests. It is hard to meet Mary's standards.
It was funny when I first got here. Everyone was happy to see me, and it was very nice. But not much was asked about the fact that we had just rented the house and were all relocating to Bath. No one had any curiosity about it, or any apparent appreciation for the fact that renting out one’s family home might be emotionally trying. It’s not any reflection of the Musgroves, I don’t think - it’s how people are. Something might be a big deal in your own immediate circle of family and friends, and it is of little or no concern to those outside it.
It is a good reminder - that whatever Dad might think of the importance of our “standing in society”, people really take very little notice of what goes on outside their own circle of people. For now, I will wrap myself up in Musgrove happenings, do my best to forget Elliot drama, and be happy.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Decision Postponed
Someone was kind enough to email and ask if I have made a decision about grad school vs launching my project. The answer is complicated. No, I haven't decided. The thing about grad school is that the timing is off. The application deadlines are in February and, if successful, I wouldn't start until September. I will continue to think about applying to grad school while I also continue to work on my project over the next few months. In a month or two I will have to make a real decision. If asked, I would say I am 60% decided on just going ahead with the project (or trying to, at least). But ask me tomorrow and I might say differently.
I’m hopeful that being here will help me focus and be productive. I'm certainly being well-fed which is important for fueling the brain, right? Please tell me it's helpful to be stuffing myself with huge dinners every night, because I don't think I can refuse without Mrs. Musgrove being offended. She already looks at me funny when I say no to a second slice of pie at dessert.
Speaking of dessert - check out the cupcakes I made with my nephew:
I’m hopeful that being here will help me focus and be productive. I'm certainly being well-fed which is important for fueling the brain, right? Please tell me it's helpful to be stuffing myself with huge dinners every night, because I don't think I can refuse without Mrs. Musgrove being offended. She already looks at me funny when I say no to a second slice of pie at dessert.
Speaking of dessert - check out the cupcakes I made with my nephew:
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Night Out
I went out last night with Rietta and Louisa - to small club in the nearby ski resort town. We saw a really great band play and it was wonderful to get out and catch up with the two girls. Mary was invited but a combination of not feeling well and the band not being well known enough to warrant going out kept her at home. I can't say I mind.
I learned that Rietta is enjoying her internship for the most part. She's happy to be done with school but isn't very excited about finding an interesting job in her field afterwards.
Louisa, who has never been very enthusiastic about school, has switched majors twice already and is embarking on a new scheme in January to study abroad. She wasn't specific about what she would be studying, I think the 'abroad' part was all that mattered. She is very excited about living in England and is convinced she will meet an attractive Italian man in her travels and apparently this is the epitome of everything. I'm not sure if I'm too old to understand or if this particular cause for excitement is unique to Louisa. She does have the ability to get feverishly excited about things that are just of mild interest to others. It is an amazing thing to behold. I sometimes wish I had that force of excitement in my life. But then, it must be exhausting. According to Louisa, the band we saw was the 'best ever' and she wanted to stay after to catch the band leaving the club so she could bump into the lead singer who was 'fall over hot'. We talked her out of this plan, thus dashing this opportunity for two soul mates to connect and start their life together.
Louisa, who has never been very enthusiastic about school, has switched majors twice already and is embarking on a new scheme in January to study abroad. She wasn't specific about what she would be studying, I think the 'abroad' part was all that mattered. She is very excited about living in England and is convinced she will meet an attractive Italian man in her travels and apparently this is the epitome of everything. I'm not sure if I'm too old to understand or if this particular cause for excitement is unique to Louisa. She does have the ability to get feverishly excited about things that are just of mild interest to others. It is an amazing thing to behold. I sometimes wish I had that force of excitement in my life. But then, it must be exhausting. According to Louisa, the band we saw was the 'best ever' and she wanted to stay after to catch the band leaving the club so she could bump into the lead singer who was 'fall over hot'. We talked her out of this plan, thus dashing this opportunity for two soul mates to connect and start their life together.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Home No More
The Crofts are moving into Elliot Hall in today. Obviously this is no surprise, this is the date we all agreed on, but now that the day is here, I find myself quite agitated by it.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Dinner Conversation
The Musgroves made a big fuss about my arrival last night at dinner, making me feel very welcome. At the moment it is just family here. Here’s the rundown (all names changed, of course):
Mr. & Mrs. Musgrove: married 35 years, kind-hearted, they live to socialize at home and are happiest with a big party of easy-going people around them. They aren’t the most…. cerebral people ever, but they are very warm and generous and cheerful. Mr. Musgrove has a law firm that does well. Mrs. Musgrove raised the kids and now often takes on nephews and nieces and cousins for extended periods - anything to have kids around.
The Musgrove’s kids:
Lousia - their youngest daughter, she is 21 and enjoying a semester off, a consequence of changing programs, I think. She will be traveling to Europe to do a semester abroad in a few months.
Rietta - the eldest daughter, she is 23 and just graduated from university. She is doing an internship locally and living at the Lodge until she finishes.
Charles - their son, my brother-in-law; see previous post.
Dinner conversations with the Musgroves go something like this:
Mr. Musgrove: So, Anne, your father and sister are gone? What part of Bath* do you think they’ll settle in?
Louisa: I hope we go to Bath this winter! If we do, Dad, we have to stay someplace better than last time. We were so far away from everything!
Mary: Well, it looks like it’ll be very lonely for me here with you all gone to Bath.
Rietta: The new theatre in Bath is due to open next month; I've heard they’re putting on a special modern adaptation of the Nutcracker for Christmas.
Mrs. Musgrove, to me while the others talked about Bath: I’m very glad you’ll be here for a while, Anne. Your visits are usually so short!
Me: Thank you! You’re always so welcoming, I enjoy it here.
Mrs. Musgrove: Well, you’re part of the family - where would we be without family? Louisa - you have to play that piano piece for Anne later, I’m sure she’ll love it.
Louisa, interrupting her conversation with Rietta to reply: Ok, Mama, but I have to warn you Anne, I’m terrible! I keep practicing it but I don’t seem to get better. Maybe you can help!
Anne: I’d love to hear it; I like works-in-progress.
I don’t know if that conveys it - the dynamic nature of conversation around the Musgrove family table. It’s quite funny to be part of - half the things said aren’t responded to, but no one minds. It’s all in good spirits, except when Mary gets into a fuss over something.
It’s a nice change from my recent solitude, probably just what I need to get out of my funk.
Mr. & Mrs. Musgrove: married 35 years, kind-hearted, they live to socialize at home and are happiest with a big party of easy-going people around them. They aren’t the most…. cerebral people ever, but they are very warm and generous and cheerful. Mr. Musgrove has a law firm that does well. Mrs. Musgrove raised the kids and now often takes on nephews and nieces and cousins for extended periods - anything to have kids around.
The Musgrove’s kids:
Lousia - their youngest daughter, she is 21 and enjoying a semester off, a consequence of changing programs, I think. She will be traveling to Europe to do a semester abroad in a few months.
Rietta - the eldest daughter, she is 23 and just graduated from university. She is doing an internship locally and living at the Lodge until she finishes.
Charles - their son, my brother-in-law; see previous post.
Dinner conversations with the Musgroves go something like this:
Mr. Musgrove: So, Anne, your father and sister are gone? What part of Bath* do you think they’ll settle in?
Louisa: I hope we go to Bath this winter! If we do, Dad, we have to stay someplace better than last time. We were so far away from everything!
Mary: Well, it looks like it’ll be very lonely for me here with you all gone to Bath.
Rietta: The new theatre in Bath is due to open next month; I've heard they’re putting on a special modern adaptation of the Nutcracker for Christmas.
Mrs. Musgrove, to me while the others talked about Bath: I’m very glad you’ll be here for a while, Anne. Your visits are usually so short!
Me: Thank you! You’re always so welcoming, I enjoy it here.
Mrs. Musgrove: Well, you’re part of the family - where would we be without family? Louisa - you have to play that piano piece for Anne later, I’m sure she’ll love it.
Louisa, interrupting her conversation with Rietta to reply: Ok, Mama, but I have to warn you Anne, I’m terrible! I keep practicing it but I don’t seem to get better. Maybe you can help!
Anne: I’d love to hear it; I like works-in-progress.
I don’t know if that conveys it - the dynamic nature of conversation around the Musgrove family table. It’s quite funny to be part of - half the things said aren’t responded to, but no one minds. It’s all in good spirits, except when Mary gets into a fuss over something.
It’s a nice change from my recent solitude, probably just what I need to get out of my funk.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
New But Familiar Surroundings
I'm someplace new! This morning I met Lacy for coffee and a good chat and then drove up to Mary’s.
I will see Lacy again at Christmas and we will head to Bath together after. I really enjoyed having more time to spend with her since I moved home. I always chat with her regularly and email tons, but there’s something about seeing someone in person that is just better. When we met for lunch the other day, she arrived late, I could see her scanning the cafe for me and her face lit up when she found me - seeing someone happy at the sight of you is the kind of thing that nourishes the soul. I didn't quite realize how much I’d been missing that.
So where am I now?
I’m in a somewhat secluded area that shall not be mentioned, in a very cute and comfortable cottage. (Can you call a 3 bedroom plus office house a ‘cottage’? For some reason we do.) Mary and her husband (Charles) and their three year old son are up here for the winter.
We are near a popular skiing area and it is lovely here in winter. It’s rather isolated - a 25 minute drive to the nearest pub or store, and two hours to the city, so when here one generally spends a lot of time going for walks alone and hanging out with all the family.
Mary’s husband is a lawyer - he works from home and spends a lot of time golfing. His family is quite well off and he will inherit a business and a legacy when his dad passes away, so there’s never been much pressure to develop a big career.Charles’ parents own all this land, including the cottage and the main lodge. They like to spend the fall and winter here when they can. It’s big enough that their various children and siblings and friends can come to stay. They like to have as full a house as possible. I've spent time here before and Charles’ family has been very welcoming. I feel quite at home here.
[I've added to the list of who’s who here to help you follow along. ]
When I arrived at the cottage, I found Mary laying on the sofa, ‘ill’. This is not unusual.
Mary, barely able to lift her head from the pillow: “Anne, thank god, I thought you’d never come! I’ve been so sick all day and everyone just left me here. No one has checked up on me since this morning! And I feel so terrible.”
Me: platitudes and cheerfulness
Mary: “You would think Louisa or Reitta would have called or texted or something to see how I was feeling, they know I’m unwell. And why didn’t you come earlier? I thought you were coming yesterday?” [Louisa and Reitta are Mary’s sisters-in-law.]
Me: “I said in my email that I would arrive today. And here I am to help make you better! Can you eat something?”
Mary: “Oh no, I haven’t been able to eat since yesterday, I’m too sick. You know Charles left me here to go golfing!”
Mary continued complaining for a while, absentmindedly following my lead and snacking on some cheese and crackers from the tray that Charles left for her.
With enough cajoling and distractions and forced cheerfulness on my part, Mary perked up considerably. I consider it a point of pride that I’m able to sometimes get Mary to stop being silly and get on with things. This time, I talked her into going for a short walk to get some fresh air and visiting at the lodge so I could say hi to everyone.
The Lodge is exactly what you want a ski lodge to be, a great wooden chalet building with a giant living room with a substantial fireplace. The Musgroves almost always have someone staying with them; it’s a rotating door of visitors. They welcomed me warmly, like they always do.
I’m glad to be here.
So where am I now?
I’m in a somewhat secluded area that shall not be mentioned, in a very cute and comfortable cottage. (Can you call a 3 bedroom plus office house a ‘cottage’? For some reason we do.) Mary and her husband (Charles) and their three year old son are up here for the winter.
We are near a popular skiing area and it is lovely here in winter. It’s rather isolated - a 25 minute drive to the nearest pub or store, and two hours to the city, so when here one generally spends a lot of time going for walks alone and hanging out with all the family.
Mary’s husband is a lawyer - he works from home and spends a lot of time golfing. His family is quite well off and he will inherit a business and a legacy when his dad passes away, so there’s never been much pressure to develop a big career.Charles’ parents own all this land, including the cottage and the main lodge. They like to spend the fall and winter here when they can. It’s big enough that their various children and siblings and friends can come to stay. They like to have as full a house as possible. I've spent time here before and Charles’ family has been very welcoming. I feel quite at home here.
[I've added to the list of who’s who here to help you follow along. ]
When I arrived at the cottage, I found Mary laying on the sofa, ‘ill’. This is not unusual.
Mary, barely able to lift her head from the pillow: “Anne, thank god, I thought you’d never come! I’ve been so sick all day and everyone just left me here. No one has checked up on me since this morning! And I feel so terrible.”
Me: platitudes and cheerfulness
Mary: “You would think Louisa or Reitta would have called or texted or something to see how I was feeling, they know I’m unwell. And why didn’t you come earlier? I thought you were coming yesterday?” [Louisa and Reitta are Mary’s sisters-in-law.]
Me: “I said in my email that I would arrive today. And here I am to help make you better! Can you eat something?”
Mary: “Oh no, I haven’t been able to eat since yesterday, I’m too sick. You know Charles left me here to go golfing!”
Mary continued complaining for a while, absentmindedly following my lead and snacking on some cheese and crackers from the tray that Charles left for her.
With enough cajoling and distractions and forced cheerfulness on my part, Mary perked up considerably. I consider it a point of pride that I’m able to sometimes get Mary to stop being silly and get on with things. This time, I talked her into going for a short walk to get some fresh air and visiting at the lodge so I could say hi to everyone. The Lodge is exactly what you want a ski lodge to be, a great wooden chalet building with a giant living room with a substantial fireplace. The Musgroves almost always have someone staying with them; it’s a rotating door of visitors. They welcomed me warmly, like they always do.
I’m glad to be here.
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