Saturday, August 23, 2014

Expenses

I just realized I never explained the somewhat ominous ending to my first blog post - where I said that Dad's might not be the safe financial hiding place I thought it would be.

It's a funny thing about being ‘moneyed’ - you can be rich and still be broke.  You would be surprised how much the actual wealth of any given wealthy family fluctuates over time - from deep in debt to perfectly solvent.   Often much of the wealth is theoretical rather than cash in the bank that can pay bills.

A few years ago a combination of business decisions and mismanagement and bad luck resulted in a troubled cash flow situation for my family.  Lacy and I talked with Dad and Beth about this last year - the need to reduce expenses to avoid running up more debt, but apparently they could not find any expenses to cut other than immediately stopping all charitable donations and putting off refurnishing the living room. 

When I got here a few days ago, I quickly realized that Dad and Beth have been continuing to live beyond their means (to put it politely). The party was the first warning and it put me on alert. When I asked Dad and Beth about it I discovered they “had tried to cut back” but could not bear to do with fewer staff, or fewer cars, or the yacht, or more modest vacations.  (Insert eye roll here)

Me: What about simplifying the garden landscaping work? I’m sure we can maintain the garden more cheaply-

Dad: Anne! The garden is our face to the world, it would be like suggesting a woman go without makeup! Would you have us living behind a jungle?

Beth: And Anne, the garden was Mother’s pride after all. We have to maintain it for her sake.

Me, refraining from pointing out that Mom’s pride was the _back_ garden that no one but us sees: Okay, what about doing without John? You two are rarely here for meals anyway. I’m sure you could manage without a chef on call at all times, couldn’t you?

Dad: And what, cook ourselves?

Beth: [laughs]

Dad: [laughs]

I guess it’s easier for me – I moved out when I went to university, so I know you don’t need all this space and material stuff to be happy; they haven’t ever gone without it, so they don’t know.

Lacy and I met for a long brunch today and we talked about a lot of things.  Lacy has always been involved in our family affairs.  She was mom’s best friend and she did her best to support Dad after Mom passed. She stood in and did all the parental things Dad wasn't up to - showing up to piano or dance performances, graduations, that kind of stuff. She’s always known our finances and other intimate family issues, so today she and I discussed the financial situation and she shares my concern.  It was such a relief to talk to someone who views the situation as seriously as I do; Dad and Beth don’t seem to.

We think the best thing to do is to rent out the house and convince Dad and Beth to move to a more modest location to stop the financial bleeding.  A few years of living more cheaply, some improved luck on the business side, and they could move back home.

Now we just have to figure out how to talk Dad into it.

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