Family Dinner

I finally got Elizabeth and Dad to have a sit-down family dinner with me. It was… okay, it was okay. 

I don’t know how to write this without sounding terrible - but I find my relatives boring. They go on and on about trivial matters and when I try to start a conversation about something I find interesting - maybe about something going on in the world that actually matters - they brush me off. They actually make me feel bad for bringing up such boring subjects.  It’s not their fault really - lots of people enjoy their conversation… I just have no patience for meaningless chit chat. I want to have a stimulating conversation

Every time I visit home, I have this revelation - how different I am from my Dad and sisters. I want the family relationships they show in the movies - that sisterly bond, the father you can talk to about anything!  I’m so far from that. Are there actually happy families out there like that? People who enjoy spending time with their adult siblings and parents? I think there are. My old roommate in university loved her mom and would have long phone calls with her where they chatted about everything. She would make long visits home and would be sad to return to our apartment. In contrast, I was always delirious with joy to be back at our hovel student apartment after a visit home

I’m trying to be positive here, end on a positive note. Dad and Elizabeth are good about giving me my space. I may have moved home, but I hardly see them - that gives me space to think and work. I’ve had lots of quiet time to do research on my non-profit idea, looking at existing programs and models, figuring out the financial plan needed to get something small up and running. It’s good to be left alone to work through all this, try to decide if it’s what I should be doing.