Saturday, January 3, 2015

Q&A #4

Most of the time I try not to think about how many people are reading this blog. I mean, I knew people would, I guess that was the point - otherwise I would do a paper journal like normal people. But when my inbox fills with questions and comments from you all - it’s a startling reminder of how many of you there are.

The least I can do to thank you for the interest you've shown in my anonomized life is to answer some of your questions, the ones it suits me to answer, anyway. So here goes, Q&A time!

Q: How it is we see Will so much?

A: To be honest, I hadn' thought much about how weird it might be that he spends so much time with us. He tends to stop by the house frequently to discuss business matters with Dad - they are both major shareholders in a company that is in crisis and he likes to strategize with Dad. Sometimes he’ll come over for dinner. He lives in Bath and has lots of friends here; I've bumped into him a pub when he’s out with others. It’s a small city, so even if he starts out the evening without us, we may end up at the same place.

Q: Given all the differences between me and my siblings and dad, was I adopted?

A: I've had the thought, believe me! No, I think I am just like my mother while Mary and Elizabeth take after Dad. I seem like the odd man out just because Mom isn't here anymore.

Q: Any word on Louisa?

A: Just from Mary to say that the Musgroves have put Lousia in a private physio facility in Lyme to ensure she recovers as completely as possible before returning to the Lodge. Her trip to Europe has been postponed, and her semester abroad is uncertain as well, which must be disappointing for her. Mary is sparse on details, mostly she speculates on why Wentworth stays away so long, and pesters me to email Ben. I hope to hear more about how Louisa actually does next time I talk to Mary by phone - she and I tend to talk past each other via email.

Q: How do I feel about all the partying and social events I seem to go to? (I’m paraphrasing this one to be more polite, the original question was… rather critical of me for moving back home and spending my time going to parties.)

A: One thing I learned with my family long ago was that fighting their will on certain matters can be more pain than it is worth. They are very set on having their way, so if I want to do something different, I have to really want to fight for it - even if it is just to stay home. So, yes, often I go to the parties because it is expected of me. This is part of the whole social standing thing that I hate - there are expectations of me as ‘an Elliot’ and it is somehow detrimental to Dad and Beth if I don’t do my part; I don’t fully get that. Sometimes I go because I want to - I love going to concerts and musical events, that’s one thing Beth and I have in common. Sometimes the events are at our house and I am not allowed to hide from the guests, however much I am tempted (I’ve tried). And sometimes I manage to avoid the things and stay home alone with a good book or a bit of work, and those times are joy.

The other part is that - this is my family and as much as I complain about them and make fun of them and am baffled by them, I do love them. If my attending a party or event can make them happy, then even if I don’t want to go, I sometimes go. That’s what you do for family, right? Put aside your own preferences to be there for them when they want you?

Q: What are my plans for the future?

A: I have stared at a blinking cursor under this question for a while. I guess I don’t talk about it here very much. I think people are more interested in the social and life drama - my career plans would be boring stuff in comparison. But maybe I’m giving you the impression that I’m happily sitting in the lap of luxury with no intentions of getting on with my own life - am I? To some degree, I suppose it’s true. I’m recovering from a setback - getting laid off sucks - and I have been struggling to find my drive. It’s been a rough few months. However much I shrug it off on the blog, in real life I have a lot of time to be at home and have my thoughts prey on me. I try to work on my non-profit project and right now I feel very hopeful about it! I don’t know what my future holds though - that’s a daunting question for everyone, isn't it?

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